Maturity: A Necessity In EVERY Marriage
The idea of marriage, in the eyes of many young adults, is magical- something many people look forward to. Many individuals search tirelessly to find the love of their life. Often times many young people get caught up in the idea of finding their future partner. So concentrated in finding a companion, that when they do begin a relationship, they are blinded by the idea of marriage and lust. Occasionally young adults can be eager to begin this part of their life and marry before they are ready. This can be true for any age, marrying someone before the relationship is ready can be detrimental. Maturity is vital to any marriage; whether it is the relationship that needs to mature (wait longer before making any serious commitments) or the individuals need to mature (grow as separate people).
"Maturity enables couples to stick it out when the going gets tough and to let go of negative feelings. Mature people love their partners unconditionally and do not stay focused on resentments or imperfections."
(Patterson, 1)
(Patterson, 1)
Henrik Ibsen expresses the idea of maturity being an important part of marriage in his play, A Doll’s House. Time and time again Ibsen’s main characters, Nora and Toravald, proved they were not mature enough for marriage. Ibsen uses meticulously written dialogue in a clever way, and underlying subplots to enhance the story and drive his theme. The author argues that without maturity, a marriage can’t be successful. This message is important for everyone looking to get married, it serves as a warning of the possible outcome of marrying before you or the relationship is ready.
Being transparent with your significant other is very important in a relationship. It is not healthy to go behind your husband or wifes back, especially when it comes to very serious matters. Infact, Frank Gunzburg, a succesful marriage counselor stated, "Many people do not realize the degree of harm that a lack of honesty can have on a marriage. Even little white lies have the potential to be harmful." (Gunzburg, 1). Towards the beginning of the play, the audience learns that Nora went behind her husband’s back and take out a loan. When Nora’s friend, Mrs. Linde, finds out about the loan she shockingly exclaimed, “ Nora-- it was Krogstad who lent you that money!” (Perrine, 1131). Mrs. Linde is a morally just character, her surprised reaction to this news shows just how serious the situation actually is. This act of deception shows how Nora is not mature enough for marriage. In a healthy relationship partners confide in each other when dealing with matters like these, regardless of the circumstances.
Being transparent with your significant other is very important in a relationship. It is not healthy to go behind your husband or wifes back, especially when it comes to very serious matters. Infact, Frank Gunzburg, a succesful marriage counselor stated, "Many people do not realize the degree of harm that a lack of honesty can have on a marriage. Even little white lies have the potential to be harmful." (Gunzburg, 1). Towards the beginning of the play, the audience learns that Nora went behind her husband’s back and take out a loan. When Nora’s friend, Mrs. Linde, finds out about the loan she shockingly exclaimed, “ Nora-- it was Krogstad who lent you that money!” (Perrine, 1131). Mrs. Linde is a morally just character, her surprised reaction to this news shows just how serious the situation actually is. This act of deception shows how Nora is not mature enough for marriage. In a healthy relationship partners confide in each other when dealing with matters like these, regardless of the circumstances.
Video On Transparency
Successful marriages require both partners to care and love each other. Often times relationships can be one sided, meaning a spouse cares more about personal gain then the relationship or their significant other. According to Denis Rainey, a christian marriage expert, "Selfishness is possibly the most dangerous threat to oneness in marriage. It affects how we talk to each other, how we divide responsibilities in the home, how we resolve conflicts, and even how we spend our time." (Rainey, 1). When Torvald finally found out about Nora’s incident with Krogstad, he immediately worried about himself. He did not take into account the way his wife was feeling, even though the situation would affect her more. Torvald said, “you have ruined all of my happiness. My whole future-- that's what you have destroyed” (Perrine, 1146). It is evident Torvald was only in the relationship for his own personal gain. He cared very little about the woman he so called wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Torvald was not mature enough for marriage either.
Selfishness In Marriage
Maturity in marriage is a necessity. It was prevalent in 1879 when Henrik Ibsen wrote A Doll's House, and it is prevalent today. Transparency and the absence of selfishness are vital when it comes to having a sucessful marriage. With so many marriages ending in divorce, it is important to ask yourself, before you say the infamous "I do"... Is my marriage and I mature enough to last?